It's always so weird here. For once I'm not the youngest, (this is also a chemical dependency ward) there's a 19 year old detoxing from opiates D:
Anyway they adjusted all my meds and added this stuff, Zyprexa, an antipsychotic/major tranquilizer and I swear it fixed me within 10 minutes. It blew my mind. I'm feeling much more hopeful today. I should be able to get out of here in the next day or two. I hope. I'm bored and I miss Starcraft and League of Legends. Hexe's birthday is coming up and I don't want to miss it. Hospital food sucks balls. One of the OT guys is like a motivational speaker with no fucking OFF button. I want him to shut up and never speak again. If I hear "this too shall pass" one more time... Fuck that.
The better news is that I'm going to Germany for spring break to visit my love, Baele! I'm so excited. Well, I would be more excited if I weren't so depressed.I just need to get my passport before the government shuts down lol.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Beautiful Photo from Visual Massacre brings me some hope in here. I feel a little bit better today. Perhaps the med adjustments are helping. The Abilify is very fast acting, my obsessive self harm thoughts are lessened this morning. So hopefully I'll be feeling ok soon. I miss Hexe and Baele. My mom brou8ght me my stuffed weighted companion cube to keep me company in the hospital. I have to take care of it!!1!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
So here I am again. It's so weird here. The staff are disturbingly friendly and cheerful, while all the patients wander the hallways in a medicated daze. I'm right there with them too. I hope to get out much sooner than I did last time. This time I have worsening feelings of self harm and depression though. I wish Hexe could come visit me. Also I wish my fucking iPod hadn't been stolen. I brought my textbooks but I can barely concentrate enough to read. Maybe after med time I'll get enough Adderall to get something done. I have so much Parasitology reading to do D: FINALS ARE COMING AND I'M IN THE MOTHERFUCKING HOSPITAL. FML. That is all for now. Updates later.