Well the last few weeks of my life have been a whirlwind of bizarre and alienating activities.
Right after I left the hospital my roommate went ballistic on me and I'm no longer allowed to have my Hexe puppy in the house... My housemates went behind my back and complained to my landlady. I have never been so hurt and mad. Well I have been that hurt and mad, but I never processed it. Everyday is a separate struggle to stay alive. I know that sounds insane, and that is because it is. Being a cerebral person, I am cursed with the ability to watch and comprehend the crashing and burning of my life. It's like watching a helpless child struggle not to drown in a pool with a man holding her head down. Those memories haunt me. My brushes with death have made me such a uselessly terrified individual. I know most of it is just chemicals in my brain, but it is so fucking FRUSTRATING to know that. The medications barely take the edge off.
Assemblage 23 nailed it in this song.